Warning Signs of Emotional Abuse
Relational violence red flags to help determine whether you are experiencing psychological maltreatment:
Name calling or demeaning you.
Intimidating you with threatening looks, actions, or gestures.
Destroying your belongings or your home.
Trying to control you, your time, and your actions.
Shifting blame back to you in order to avoid responsibility, or questions your reality. This is called gaslighting.
Criticizing your appearance.
Being jealous of time spent with your friends or family.
Making threats to hurt you, themselves, or others to get what they want.
Humiliating or embarrassing you in public.
Inappropriately infantile behavior.
Acting possessive and not trusting you.
Threatening breaking up, abandonment, or divorce to manipulate an argument.
Threatening suicide during arguments.
Blaming you for their unhealthy/abusive behaviors.
Having outbursts, becoming passive, or being overly demanding.
Shaming/Guilting
Dismissing your thoughts, values, opinions, or emotions.
Accusing
Monitoring
Verbally berating
These behaviors are red flags! Do not justify them, dismiss them, or engage with them.
Set boundaries.
Your wellbeing is a non-negotiable.
Their emotional wellbeing is not your responsibility.
You deserve to be peaceful and safe. Your feelings are real. You are enough.
Harassment and Threats are Violence
If he never hit me, did it still count as abuse? I remember wondering this one afternoon, just hours after he picked up our daughter. The text messages kept coming—accusations, threats, guilt trips. He said his life was worthless. That it was all my fault.
I felt a wave of panic: Was she safe? Should I call someone? Should I be documenting everything in case I needed it for court? The fear lodged deep in my chest. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t sleep. His messages weren’t just upsetting—they were a constant invasion of my right to peace.
